Sunday, September 26, 2010
I haven't explore the functions in blogger quite properly but I found someone who cared about my worries about 5 years ago. Haha. An anonymous commenter, thank you, although it's five years late.

I have been consciously thinking about not thinking. Hahaha. It's almost a sense of guilt. Do I have far too many small regrets in life? Or do I have nothing meaningful that I can hold on to? Perhaps perhaps. Sometimes I wonder if I have been overly happy all my life that I can't handle sadness. I mean I'm not depressed, I can't take sadness seriously. I'm a tad upset about that, funny?

Well, I say every other day that I wanna be a rockstar and live my moment. I kept missing the moment these days. I keep regretting about many things, big and small, but really nothing major. Because they're all small things, they become ant bites. Sore but not fatal but sore. And yet, I can't point out the specific pain.

After years of saying I wanna run away, I realized you really can't. You already know, unless you knock yourself out and suck some memory out, you really can't. Ahh, I would knock myself out. Do I want to check some things off my list, yes I do. Be a lil braver, and so I kept telling zou-san.

Ah even my closest friends say they don't understand me. Haha I'm doomed to be never consoled. I'm quite tired these days. Oh not emotionally, I'm tired physically. I hope to hear more happy stories from the rest of the world. I was very happy when I found out about Lemon the other day. Maybe I've lost a lil bit of myself into this but I found a lil more through something else too. Forces of the universe still balanced.

Keep cheering!