Monday, December 04, 2006
Been troubling me lately. Big thoughts kept hitting me.
I thought through almost everything and conclude them to be all the same. It's not worth it. What's really worth it then? If I remain nonchalent, do I still have things that I want? Or were they never really there?
I think about my interest, and hopefully able to earn some cash from it. Do I really love to design, or is it there to distract? Or is it just a ego boost?
Sometimes I wonder if I've given up on myself. No totally definitely. I wish the end is nearing. No, not death. End, in another form. Some days, you wish something can cheer you up in the most unexpected way.
I lie to myself and everyone I know.
Why do things keep popping up to remind me of useless things? I've not forgotten if that's what you want to know. Why does your mind always stop at the most painful things ever? Is it a reaction to slap yourself and wake you up to the cruelty of everything? Nothing's that nice. Nothing's that beautiful.
You made a casual comment to ask if I'm sure. I said yes. And you said do not regret. I don't. You said something else that shocked me. Something that I feel the same.
Repeat.
gwen stefani ~ luxurious
2:47:00 AM;