Thursday, March 16, 2006
Not feeling great today, so skipped work. Headache, that disgusting feeling. Haha. All in all, superme is a very angry person today. A little something to brighten up my day, I bought my pair of converse (Thanks Jie! Thanks la thanks!) after two almost three long years of procrastination and there's Poptart today though I'm still not sure if I'm really going down. 11:30pm to 2am, I got work la!

I can work. BUT! Distance is a bitch. Unable to wear jeans is a bitch. Seeing how people put on weight puts me off. This is not meant to be mean la but seriously, is that what an office will do to me!? Unable to move around is a bitch. The need to bring your own entertainment and nothing to do and stuck in a cold environment is a bitch. Talking on the phone is a bitch. Unable to find proper food is a bitch. Haha, oh man, I can't believe I'm such a bummer.

There's something I can't wait. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET INTO NTU! This ridiculous waiting period is killing me. I can't wait for school to start. Is it July yet? Help!!! And I haven't not touched my video. FUCK! And the photographs. FUCK FUCK FUCK! It's not that I'm procrastinating, okay, I am but they're not coming to me. Major shit. A roomful of beer and gin, hor baos? I'm anticipating. Haha!

I am wasting no more time. I don't want to look at those things again. Those three things that spell BIG in my head. Maybe I'm just not that great at dealing with things that is not built in my nature. Sorry my emotions were developed much later than my brain, I'm still in the midst of learning to control. Yeah, I know things will finally work out fine, something always happens but right now they're just crushing me like an ant. I'm struggling but well, not defeated. On a serious note, I'm not meant to be emotional. Turning into this emotional paranoid, well, that's just not superme. I don't need explanation, I do nothing, I don't explain, I don't judge, I let you say what you want. But since when did I started blaming myself? I know I didn't fulfil some of that recently but I hate myself for doing that. For the month of March and April, I vow to recover myself. Hey, who have I always wanted to grow up to be? Steven Hyde baby, Steven Hyde.

IS THAT ALL YOU CAN HIT ME WITH!? COME ON, THROW ALL THE STONES YOU WANT AT ME! The ways of superme. Meet the poseur today.

the killers ~ indie rock and roll