Saturday, September 24, 2005
Thinking about As.

Big picture. Get my ass to university and move on with work. Whatever work that gets me the dough, proper dough. Yes. Everyone can make it sound noble. But I am a pragmatist, I work for the money. Don't get it wrong, I have my aspirations and interests too. But I have a family too.

6 weeks can do wonders. I did badly for prelims, as expected. What can minimum studying get you? Below minimum grades. Yes disappointed, disappointed that I'm not smart enough. But I can be hardworking enough.

I am stressed. Stressed that 10 papers decide my fate. Stressed that the same thing will happen like it happened during the 2 maths papers. Stressed that GP will prove yet again a failure for another major paper. Stressed that I'm still the worse in the entire family.

Time and time again random kids tell me not to take these papers or studying as a proof to people that I can be capable. But, hah, where do you expect me to go without these stuff? I know it's sad, I can't help it. I can't fund myself to go to a design school, what else can I do?

I know I can get something decent out of this. Like what you said kid, I'm too cool for school.

+mood+ just great
+listening+ the bravery ~ honest mistake