Monday, January 24, 2005
Haha I wish I know what it meant. Hahaha. Yeah whatever. Unimportant stuff anyway.

Happy birthday Sala! Yup, 18!!! Bought him a gay looking strawberry cake. So cute! Hahaha. I'm very impressed and how should I say touched I guess when Sala wish for the best for the band. It was actually a whole lot of stuff but I'll just sum it up. Band before self. Hahaha, I don't know if that's beyond me. Quite a dilemma too. I dare to say that I'm a dedicated member but one who doesn't dare to give it all. There are things I'm afraid to give up. I look up to you sala. Whatever you do, I know you do it for the band.

Hang out with Eugene quite a bit today. Hahaha. Supposed to watch Aviator. Or more like I was hoping we could go catch the show with the rest but seems that monday is a bad day. He's like a lil brother. Can't wait to give him a make over. Hahaha. Let's just hope he's not like his senior. Then again, his senior and I were like bestest buddies. With him, he's like a brother. Now I feel better and more relieved after not trying to delibrately distant myself from them. More like the two but since now there's three. It feels better. Some way somewhat.

I seriously feel that my blog only revolves around one person other than myself while everything else is like subplots. I really wanna know what he concluded, what he reflected, what he feels. But I won't ask because he'll think I'm attacking him. Maybe I still think about him a lil too much. But I wanna know. Sometimes just out of curiousity, I wonder how many times he lied, how true is true? I don't really care about what the rest said about this and that. The days that I shall lament. Gone were the days that I look forward to something. Maybe saturdays when I engage in activities I'm truly interested in and forget about everything else. Scary are the things that I've forgotten. Arrival of monochrome days. At this point of time I would say boldly that unless it's him, I won't be interested. Let's just say if it really is him, I doubt I'll turn back. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's trust, maybe it's just disappointment. Haha, maybe those were just the days that I would look back and say I ever gave up everything for someone before. How dumb can that be? The mindless days. I'm thinking of a day when I can talk mindlessly to you and tell you happily that you ever made me cry and ridiculous everything was. Though I really wish you did, I will never expect you to turn back. I miss your smile for me. I miss my own smile. Haha I wonder how many entries do I have on this similar idea of content.

For the people who chose to ignore the whole delibrate unparagraphed paragraph, here's something aside. Huijie is back as a relief teacher as Mr Wong to relieve Mr Ong. Enru is like so happy. Haha. Mr Prom King. Janet told me he used to be super geeky and ugly until his class couldn't stand it and brought him for makeover to make him the Huijie today. Stunning. Hahaha.

Mr Peh confiscated my nose stud today. And have to prepare the program booklet so very soon.

+mood+ blank
+listening+ kelly chen and ronald cheng ~ zhi zhao lang man