Sunday, December 26, 2004
Woke up early today. I agreed to go catch a show with rally while sleeping. Geez, I don't think so. Hahaha, I'm so sorry to hurt his feelings. I wanna watch kungfu hustle with bings.

Round up the year I guess.

JC life has its ups and downs. An experience not to be missed I should guess. Learnt a lot this year. These months I've been thinking, what do I really want and what do I really want to see. Had a classic scene at my balcony without the cigarette, thinking hard looking into the blueblue sky. Many new things in life this year. Got to know many new friends, seen many new faces. It's cool, I'm good. While I make way for new things coming my way, the old stuff still stayed. I'm grateful. Things change, I don't anticipate but I don't grumble either. Life's pretty much the same at home, cranky mum, pms dad and poseur jing. I'm really glad. Maybe it's the christianity influence, to be thankful of what you're already holding onto. I'm not saying only christians say that but they slap it in my face everyday. You know, dear heavenly father I thank you for the food you blessed, blahblahblah. Maybe going into a christian school is cool for me, I learn to appreciate things more. As a christian school, it seems to have more warmth and love compared to any other places. I'm glad, really am.

I found the band this year. In a way, it has been a turning point for me. I began to think for other people more, sometimes more that I have to. We've been through a lot together as a band. Things we shared, it's a different kind of bond. I understand mel's passion for dragonboating. I've made friends in the band I'll never forget. Some I truly respect and some I owe. I've met people who really left footprints in my life. Well, one beat we make, one sound we create.

It seems to be a tough year for many, for my bestest buddies. Everyone has their ups and downs. Maybe this year has more than usual, but hang in there, sunshine after rain. Someday, you'll find a way to make yourself happy. Am I gonna address each royal? Bings, things are not that tough. Accept whatever that's already is, fight for the big picture. Jas, man, I've talked to you a lot this year. I don't know if I've talked you through for many things, I hope you see what I'm trying to make you see. Crys, don't be too hard on yourself. He knows it! You know he knows it too. Amanda, when's something's wrong just say it. I'm glad you've so many people supporting you. Mel, it's cool that you found dragonboating. It's not easy but don't make it tougher. Dawn, don't be too affected, maybe it's your god's way of telling you there's a nicer boy out there. Bao, hope you're no longer troubled by jon. You deserve much better and I'm not very glad that you know that. Haha. Hoon, don't be so stressed out by everything. Sleep more and clear your mind. Jess, true saint spirit prevails, school can be cool. Nad, not easy being independent, gotta remember what you believe in all these while. Zhu, don't invite trouble for yourself, love yourself more that anyone! Germs, cool you've got kang to support and encourage you, life's beautiful wherever you are as long as you believe it is. Does all these sound very optimistic? I sure hope they do because I am.

On him. I'm really not sure man. I don't exactly know what to do. Should I just be persistent till the end of this year and go all out? I don't know if I really really really want to be with him. Takes 2 to clap anyway. One side of me tells me if he picks up my call tonight, I'll go down to his place. Another side of me, tells me to ignore and erase him off all my life. Why do I like to make myself miserable seriously? To puke it out, I'm willing to work things out. For him, haha, anything lah. I don't know if he ever love me back that much. Haha, was it ever so much? I'm like waiting for something to do something or maybe end this. Sometimes I felt like it's the end but then it comes back to haunt me. It's normal I know but it just felt that there's something else. It's like I'm still waiting for the one day he owes me. Not waiting, looking forward. I don't know, don't ask me, I'll ask someone. Follow my heart, yeah right. I don't even know.

Where's my alcohol?

+mood+ cherries-in-my-mind
+listening+ michelle branch featuring santana ~ game of love