Monday, December 20, 2004
Hey bitchy one. I don't know man. There's a lot that I wish to tell but just never will. It's like the start again. You're unhappy while I'm just waiting for you to come to me, I'll just never initiate. The other time at paradigm, I really wished you agree to let me come down. I don't feel good when I know people around are obviously not good. I don't care specially for you, don't be such an arse. At least I know this round you won't turn to smoking. You're so stupid. How many times do you need to learn this lesson over and over again? How many times must I tell you to fuck it and move on. I know I shouldn't be part of this at all. I will be ignored anyway. I think you tell liangshi things but I don't dare to ask. I'm trying very hard to convince myself that you'll be fine. Haha, I don't know man. Sometimes you rather that lies do no exist. Maybe it's me but you can't fucking lie and it stops me from continuing the conversation. Sometimes I rather I don't understand you. What's the point of half-half? So what I know you're unhappy? All I can do is blog about your unhappiness and feel miserable. Why do I choose to still bother about you? Sometimes do you fucking understand that you're one of the greatest buddies I've ever made. You're a smart kid but you fucking don't know how to move away from misery. You don't deserve this at all, there's better things in life, do you get it? I let you cry and bitch for all you want for a while and end it once and for all. You'll never experience certain things again, don't you get it? Haven't you understood to live every moment? Why must you care about what the rest think? You admire my carefree and blame your emotional self. When are your own thoughts gonna stand? When are you gonna be decisive? There are words I know you try too hard to avoid. Why? Are you scared that I still mind or are you afraid of your impulsive desires? Can you stop being so stupid? I don't know you're being childish or just forgot about the big picture. I do blame you for telling me things that you shouldn't have if you weren't sure. So? There's nothing you can do, I can only put it aside. When are you gonna do the same? Are you haunted? Seriously what's wrong with knowing that I still love you to bits but unable to be together? I know it's similar over your side just that it's not me. Let go, let go, just fucking let go. Oh man, you're such a tumour in my brain. I'm not fucking afraid of the death part but just fucking irritated by that extra thing in me which everyone thinks that I won't be okay. I'm fine, the tumour is crazy and stupid(got no brain on its own, you fucking parasite), everyone is bizarre. Hahahaha. Oh man, I love the tumour though. Hahahaha. *faints* No lah, not in that sense, I'm afraid that the tumour is not cosy in my brain, just caring for a guest. LOL
+mood+ cool
+listening+ maroon 5 ~ sunday morning
10:39:00 AM;
