Monday, October 25, 2004
Today is not my day. Got woke up by a message at 3am. Like what the hell. Didn't realised my phone was like so loud. Anyone that wakes me up this way deserves to die. 3am. ARE YOU CRAZY!? Anyway, it was zhijian lah. Figured out it was the hangover from the manu match. Anyway I just figured this out. Like who's in the mind to think at that point of time. 3am. And the rest of the day, I'm just in a daze. Supposed to go pick up some cloth to sew. Ended up watching sex and the city and sleeping.

OH why today isn't my day too right. I FORGOT TO BRING MY POUCH. You know usually I'll place my phone in my pouch and like everything too right. Today i didn't bother lah, running late, just dump them in my pocket. And I just didn't bring it. Usually I wouldn't care much since I'm always broke. BUT TODAY! I'M SUPPOSED TO PAY UP LIKE HUGE SUMS OF MONEY! Like I fucking can't hand them up. I feel so guilty lah. Paid mr ng thanks to ondrayz and stu. Paid may thanks to geok. Those were like urgent stuff. I AM SORRY! So I couldn't take it, I just have to go home early. I didn't miss any lectures alright. Hahaha. Well done huimin.

Anyway ah, I don't know if I'm in the right mind. I asked zhijian to patch up. No, not asked. It's still a message waiting to be sent. Actually I'm uncertain lah. There's things that I can't put down. There's things I want to know. There's feelings I know. Oh well, but I know I'm better off without him. But I am miserable this way. So I don't know my choice. Anqi told me not to believe him anymore. Stu insists that I'm blushing. So what's the big deal? Is it just there to haunt me forever? Is relationship of great importance? Am I really bothered? This period of time, I saw many flaws, thought of many things beyond relationships. Well initially I thought I was really bothered. Hmm, had some twists in between. I am nonchalent by nature right? I've been trying very hard to feel and get attached to certain things. They just don't work out this way. Ifififif, it goes my way, it's great for him too. I kinda figured out why he's like that. It's kinda complex. Well, I'm not banking on it. Just a thought. I don't miss-miss him. Hmm, I can't spell that out. It's bizarre. I don't think he's the ONE either. Well, kok said if I want it, I gotta do something. I did actually. Just too bad I guess. So what now? Will I ever regret? Do I still like him? Actually I really doubt myself now. And so I'm better off alone.

+mood+ yawn-ny
+listening+ radiohead ~ true love waits