Monday, April 17, 2006
The power of anticipation. Haha, it's funny. You really wanted something so much but when you do get it, you just don't really want it anymore. Haha. Okay so I'm just talking about staying home. Kinda tired from working everyday so finally, I get my break today. Well, I kinda don't feel like staying home though. Haha, talk about big talks. I don't exactly know how it works. Well, I am anticipating my entry to ADM. Seriously, just let me in. I'll still bitch about school but well, you know I'm loving it. Or I'll be loving it. I hope. Haha. WHAT!?

The feeling of falling and falling again. Sometimes you wonder if you're really that clumsy. Haha. I mean, you don't really fall on purpose do you? Okay, I don't. Just in case there's some weird asses out there. Just catches you off guard, your heart jumps a lil and after which is just pain.

I thought about my thoughts on happy thoughts. I mean, I did came out with the term, was my catch phrase for quite some time. Hmm, it's not entirely foolproof isn't it? Haha. Well, it's still true though, people dwell on the unhappy things more often. But I have a mental struggle of keeping my happy thoughts happy. Sure, I think about my wonderful christmas and my wonderful presents to keep myself cheerful. Well, then you think about it, christmas could have lasted a little longer or maybe this year's christmas will never be the same again without ah, I don't have to put that down. Haha. Doesn't help when your present has been taken away, no? Still smiling, still smiling when I think of christmas. :)

And I thought of something else. Oh yes, I'm trying to reflect. Haha, not analysing, am I writing a friggin report? I have been the ungrateful one. I'm never a determined person. I hope you understand. It's unreasonable definitely, I do not disagree. I do sincerely apologise. I may have already done so a million times and well I can't thank you enough. It just seems so fake on my part. Yeah but haha, whatever you think la. Sometimes you know it, I know it but I deny not because I don't have the guts to say it or I'm trying anything funny, it's just that it should not be said. I was provoked to spill it out, so what good did it do? I did push it myself, so my bad anyhow. There's no point saying I don't mean it. Well, the damage is still made. What can I say? There are many questions that should be left unanswered and kept inside or away.

I refuse to admit to what I'm listening to.