Thursday, April 21, 2005
Maybe it's just the stress.

I wanna go home. I just wanna go home. Let me go home.

Can't believe till now it still lingers on my mind. It kills the most when it strikes in the most unexpected ways. Guess that's how ninjas are trained.

These days it's all about band. I laugh at my inabilities. End of the day I'm still guilty. It has always been like that. It's all the same now but so different. Maybe the drive is gone but my refusal to admit makes things difficult for myself. Self-denial, has always been the case. It's too much emotions to handle. Love-hate relationship. Some friends became strangers. Close friends that I never got to know again. It's just how band works. It's hard to explain, as always. It's just my self-denial.

Sometimes you hope certain things never did happen. Sometimes you wish you get to choose. Sometimes you wish you can make the choice again. It's all a vicious cycle. And yet again, too much time to spare.

Jinghui, woman! Hugs and kisses. I wish you were here too. Bandies don't differ much, I insist. Band practice is gonna be fun today. Happy thoughts! Once in a while you scare me with your words. It made me miss our 1st 3 months together. Haha. Think about what made you join band in SAJC and in CJC again. You know you love band. Don't give up just yet!

I dreamt about the office yesterday and got me late for school which finally gotten me to decide to skip school today. It wasn't leaking, the carpets were still there. Just another something pointless to the rest of you. Everyone was just there. Days like that, when are they coming back?

I go to my corner and let the tears flow. Whatever for? I don't know.

Let's make a bet today. Let's see who has more patience. It's a packet of milo bet. Don't give up when I haven't. I don't want you to see me hanging there. We'll go through this together. Why am I so sure? Because I want my milo. Because I'll share my milo with you.

I'm defeated by this air of hostility. Make hay not war. My friends, when did all this happen? I seek refuge on a driftwood.

+mood+ blue
+listening+ the beatles ~ yellow submarine