Monday, February 21, 2005
I'm down with sore throat and a very bad cough. I feel very sick. But life still goes on.

The something I dread to hear was finally spoken yesterday. I have to go university, I have to do well. I'm already on the path right? So why do I still dread it so much? I wonder much further can I go, how long more can I cope? School, band, family dance, designs. None of which I wish to give up. I hope some friends understand. I didn't mean to neglect anyone, anything at all. I'm not a superkid, sometimes it's just too much. Deon asked me how's my love life getting along. What am I supposed to say? I'm still waiting? Probably I am but I haven't got the time. It upset me so much whenever dharni comment out of leisure why I'm not in TP. I guess other than band, the rest can work hand in hand if I'm in design school. Why am I still bitching about this till now? Haha, dream on. So very soon I will be forced to give up on my designing dream and happily sign up for mass communication. I never really understood not to let my family down till now. To the rest of the fucking unnecessary family, I'm like that because of your fucking mindless beliefs. For the whole weekend I just stood by my adobe photoshop, playing and playing. And there, I don't understand economics.

I'm glad in a way. I have my piorities lay out right in front of me, forced to follow. I'm glad I still get to choose to dance and play in a band and own a computer. It's not that bad actually. In such a situation I wonder if I'm forced to grow up as well. Jinghui helped me asked something. Haha, I don't know if I'm disappointed. I don't think I'll choose a person over my interests ever again. I don't have much time left for many things. Yet some things, I have the whole life to seek for. Haha, mindless rambles. I feel so sick. Night.

+mood+ sick
+listening+ chingy & ludacris & snoop dogg ~ holiday inn