Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Woke up too early today. Had to go siglap secondary for some mentoring for the band's camp. Man, wrong choice. Not a day to play. Played one of my worst. As you can tell, kena from glosz lah. Sigh, my fault I know. Super off form today and I think I rested my instrument the wrong way yesterday, my keys are lagging. Felt so small in the bandroom. I know, I'm still not there yet. I'm trying already alright? I know it's not enough, I'm still trying. I'm sorry melvyn. I know I should stop killing my instruments. Came in late everywhere. Sigh. Why am I so distracted?

Please shoot me if you think it's because of him. Kill me someone. Hahaha. Stupid kid. Thought I said I am fine? Am I? AM I!? What do you think? Haha, yaofeng thinks it's very sad that we're not together. He thinks that we're compatible. Hahaha, that's so cute. Are we seriously compatible? Stuart said we are too, actually quite a few said so. I mean, who will actually slap it in your face YOU GUYS ARE RIDICULOUS TOGETHER! No right? Hahaha but feng and stu different lah, told me in a solemn way. Hahaha. Oh man, I thought I already typed an entry about this? How many times do I need to say this? Hahahaha. I'm being ridiculous. Going on and on and on about the same thing. Don't mind me alright? Two people happened to ask me the same thing. I know it's relevant for my age actually but just not it just never occurred to me. They asked if we had sex. Hahaha, what? What did you say again? No lah! He doesn't have such guts. Don't mind me ranting on. On the poor response, Feng told me it's because of his pride. Like quite dumb. Boys will always be boys. That makes me really sad actually. I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

How? What now? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do about this? I'm just doing my work senselessly. Aww, I love him so much! I know nobody believes that. Hahaha. It's not the norm I know. What's the point of loving him so much and not being able to show? He doesn't let me be by his side, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't wanna see me. So what's the big deal?

+mood+ sad
+listening+ danny elfman ~ ice dance